Hello Im Zandrea and Im in Room 14!
Mr O'C is the Man! lol
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
16/05/12
IALT Use well chosen verbs and replace the boring verbs and uses interesting verbs.
A lion stalking its prey.
His claws gripped onto the ground. With his eyes following its every move. He slowly crawled closer to his prey. Drooling by just seeing its hypnotizing stripes.
Like Shannon said, Its really good! You could count down the Lion getting ready to pounce. etc ; ''3 2 1 Pounce he jumped forward with adrenilane rushing through his body. '' Please keep writing its really good! :D
Hey Zandrea,
ReplyDeleteThis is really good, I find it really interesting and descriptive. The way you have written it makes me want to know what happens next.
-Shannon
Hey Zands(:
ReplyDeleteLike Shannon said, Its really good!
You could count down the Lion getting ready to pounce. etc ;
''3 2 1 Pounce he jumped forward with adrenilane rushing through his body. ''
Please keep writing its really good! :D
~Cal x